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Your stories

In this section of our website, we share personal stories, videos and poems by women and men who have been affected by pregnancy loss.

Reading about others’ experiences of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy can be reassuring, and may help you feel less alone. However, the experience of pregnancy loss is different for everyone. What the loss of your baby means to you, and how you feel about it, will be shaped by all kinds of things to do with the person you are and your particular circumstances. So, although you will probably find you share a lot with others, it’s important to remember that no one else’s experience of miscarriage will be exactly like yours.

If you would like to submit your own story, in written or video format, to be considered for this section, please email us on info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk.

Prose

Precious’ story

Precious writes about her miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, and shares her advice on how to comfort someone after pregnancy loss.

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Hush-a-bye Baby

Lynda’s story of the loss of her baby was broadcast as part of Radio Ulster’s ‘My Story’ series on the BBC.

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Keyan, on ‘Simply Say’

Keyan and his wife have experienced five miscarriages. Here he reflects on a partner’s experience of loss and how it’s talked about.

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Natasha’s story

After seven miscarriages, Natasha is determined to use her experience to help others.

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Sophie’s story

Sophie has experienced repeated miscarriages. She shares some of the comments she has received from others.

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Gemma’s story

Gemma writes about her experience of recurrent miscarriage and taking part in the RESPONSE trial.

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Nina’s story

Nina has had six miscarriages between 6 and 8 weeks. She writes about how being open about her experiences has helped.

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Fiona’s story

Fiona writes about her early losses and society’s misunderstanding of miscarriage.

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Angie’s story

Angie shares the mixed reactions to her two early miscarriages.

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Michelle’s story

Michelle shares her experience of having a late miscarriage, and why she decided to volunteer for the Miscarriage Association.

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Jennifer’s story

Jennifer shares the things people have said to her after her six miscarriages, and the impact that recurrent miscarriage has had on her and her husband.

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Kate’s story

Kate writes about experiencing multiple chemical pregnancies and miscarriage, and how Mother’s Day was a trigger for expressing her grief and finding support.

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Jemma’s story

Jemma experienced three miscarriages between the birth of her son in 2010 and her daughter in 2013. She writes about her ongoing grief for her lost babies.

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Néna’s story

Néna writes about her experience of four miscarriages, the birth of her son, and why she became a media volunteer for the Miscarriage Association.

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Sally’s story

Sally shares her experience of multiple miscarriages, and the comfort that she found on social media.

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Nicola’s story

After five miscarriages, Nicola shares the helpful and unhelpful things that people have said, and how she’s now raising awareness to help others.

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Natasha’s story

Natasha writes about having two miscarriages in a twelve month period, the worry of pregnancy after these losses and why she wanted to volunteer to help the Miscarriage Association.

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Ruth’s story

After her third pregnancy ended in miscarriage, Ruth found that blogging and talking to others who’d gone through a similar loss helped her through.

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Nicole’s story

Nicole shares her experience of three early miscarriages, and finding support online.

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Hayley’s story

After giving birth to a healthy boy in 2013, Hayley experienced two miscarriages in 2016. She writes here about how talking about her experience has helped.

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Kathryn’s story

Kathryn experienced pregnancy loss four times (including a twin loss in one pregnancy) before the birth of her daughter in 2013. She writes about how important it is to acknowledge the grief.

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Andrea’s story

Andrea writes about her two miscarriages and the comments from her colleagues when she returned to work.

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Lizzie’s story

Having experienced six miscarriages, Lizzie shares how blogging and connecting with others has given her a sense of purpose.

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Michelle’s story

Michelle shares some of the helpful and less-helpful comments she received over the course of her three miscarriages.

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Amy’s story

Amy started to miscarry the night before her 12 week scan and, as her due date approaches, she writes here about the physical and emotional experience of loss.

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Caroline’s story

Caroline experienced five miscarriages before the birth of her son in 2012. She shares here people’s reactions changed during her journey.

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Paul’s story

Paul shares how talking about miscarriage openly and empathetic support from others has helped him through the experience of recurrent losses.

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Lauren’s story

While waiting to start fertility treatment, Lauren found out she was pregnant. Sadly, she miscarried just a few weeks later.

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For Paul and Marc

Kathryn miscarried her twin boys 18 weeks into her pregnancy.

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My Baby

Anita shares her feelings on the loss of her IVF baby after years of hoping and planning.

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Why men need to talk about miscarriage

Journalist Keyan Milanian shared his feelings about miscarriage in an online article.

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Water Baby

Viv Mayer shares her thoughts on marking a loss, following a visit to Japan

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Manual Vacuum Aspiration (MVA)

Karen had an MVA after medical management wasn’t successful.

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Néna’s story

Néna talks about recurrent miscarriage.

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Jessica and Natalie’s story

Jessica & Natalie share their story of the loss of an IVF pregnancy, following the loss of their son at 37 weeks.

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The Mummy he used to know

Jemma describes the emotional impact of recurrent miscarriage.

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Why?

Helina lost two babies through ectopic pregnancy.

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The Black Devon

A short story reflecting on a missed miscarriage.

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Hrozienko (Raisin) – A Year On

Reflective diary from 3 days to 14 months after a miscarriage.

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My Miscarriage

Kim shares her personal experience of miscarriage and making decisions.

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Bless all those

Process of natural miscarriage followed by private family burial in a woodland.

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A miscarriage features prominently

A miscarriage features prominently in Richard Burke’s second novel, “Redemption”. In the account below, first published in The Independent, he writes about his and his wife’s experience of ectopic pregnancy and recurrent miscarriage.

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A father’s story

Recurrent miscarriage followed by successful pregnancy.

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I hope with all my heart

Process of becoming pregnant and miscarrying in a same sex relationship.

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It is the first of January 2007

Journey of self-understanding through the experience of miscarriage.

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17 years old

Reflections on unplanned pregnancy and its potential change to rest of life, and then miscarriage.

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Never thought it would happen to me

Missed miscarriage following earlier successful pregnancy.

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A blessing, a heartache

Two miscarriages, then fertility and relationship problems.

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Dear Sherby

A goodbye letter to a child lost through miscarriage.

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Miscarriage – It won’t happen to me

Nikki shares the shock of two miscarriages and difficulty of finding information.

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I lost a baby

Shelley writes about the need for empathy, understanding and sensitive language.

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Miscarriage journal

Maria recounts her story of six pregnancies: four miscarriages and two healthy pregnancies in between.

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Dark days can lead to sleepless nights

Stuart shares his experience of miscarriage of an IVF pregnancy, and the importance of being open and honest.

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Little Sesame

A description of a missed miscarriage, diagnosed at 8 weeks, confirmed at 9 weeks and then miscarrying naturally.

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My story

A detailed story of recurrent miscarriage, natural and medical management and the value of counselling.

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Miscarriage following a healthy pregnancy

Peter remembers the need both to be supportive and to express his emotions after his partner’s miscarriage.

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Michelle’s story

A year after a successful IVF pregnancy, Michelle conceived naturally, but miscarried at 14 weeks.

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Letters after three miscarriages

A couple share their experience of recurrent miscarriage through letters written to their lost babies.

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Lost The Baby

Reflections on why the word ‘lost’ feels wrong, including a graphic description of miscarriage.

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The worst day

Three years after his partner’s miscarriage, Neil shares his feelings of grief and distress both then and now.

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Miscarriage after IUI and IVF

A partner tells of her wife’s miscarriage at thirteen weeks of twins, conceived after several rounds of IUI and then IVF.

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I’m sorry

Laura shares her story of miscarriage and the next pregnancy, hoping it might help others in similar circumstances.

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My emotional rollercoaster

After a normal pregnancy resulting in her daughter, Kayleigh had a molar pregnancy and then a miscarriage.

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Miscarriage after ICSI

A husband describes the diagnosis of fertility problems, undergoing fertility treatment and then having a miscarriage.

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Losing

Despite saying “I’m always losing things”, Catherine never uses the phrase ‘I lost a baby’.

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Waiting

Flennie reflects on the amount of waiting, of being ‘in limbo’ before, during and after miscarriage.

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Dear Mother with the Crying Baby

After a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, and still childless, Jessica shares her thoughts on seeing a crying baby.

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A letter to my friends and family

A.L.F. knows that family and friends mean to help, but explains how their comments can hurt.

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Recurrent miscarriage

A dad shares his feelings about his wife’s repeated miscarriages, and the impact on his wife and son.

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Three Miscarriages in Twelve Months

Rachael shares her experience of recurrent miscarriage.

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7 a.m.

James reflects on a ‘more than upsetting morning’.

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Love and loss

Zoe shares her joy, thoughts and dreams when her pregnancy is confirmed and how these feelings change when she then miscarries.

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Lucas

Lindsay lost her son Lucas sixteen weeks into her pregnancy. Here she shares her story.

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Missed miscarriage

Keri shares her experience of conservative (natural) management.

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I had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks

Holly-mae (18) writes about her miscarriage and how she is coping with feelings of guilt and loss.

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I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks

Kanesha (19) from the USA writes about her miscarriage and tells other young women that they are not alone.

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My identical twins stopped developing at 8 weeks

Chloe (19) writes about how her identical twin pregnancy stopped developing.

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I hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant when I had a miscarriage

Sophia writes about how she coped with a miscarriage when she was 16.

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Jade’s story

Jade was just coming to terms with her miscarriage when she found out it was a molar pregnancy.

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I had a miscarriage at home at 14 weeks

Emily reflects on how online support helped her to feel less alone when she was grieving the loss of her child and all her hopes, dream and plans for the future.

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I want to break the silence

Courteney shares her story to help break the silence around pregnancy loss.

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Martha’s story

Two weeks after her miscarriage, Martha reflects on her experience and her feelings about what happened.

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My little angel

In Babyloss Awareness Week, a year after her loss, Lilla reminds us that fathers can suffer just as much as mothers and that it is important to care for them and the relationship too.

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My 5

Jemma shares her blog entry which reflects on the five babies she has carried and the impact of multiple miscarriages.

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Pregnancy loss in your 40s

Gail reflects on the difficulties facing older women who miscarry, when others don’t understand.

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Down, down, down

Natasza’s personal reflection captures the grief, loss and isolation after a pregnancy loss.

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Desperately seeking sense, with no sense to be had

Dan shares his reflections on how he and his wife attempted make sense of their experience of miscarriage.

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Feel the sky

Sarah reflects on her experience of repeated miscarriages.

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Mona’s story

Mona remembers the loss of her first baby, 41 years ago. Her story was first published on our Facebook group, and is shared here with permission.

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Videos

Second trimester miscarriage

Second trimester miscarriage

Bill talks about his wife’s late miscarriage, and his feelings of fear, loss and grief.

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Miscarriage of our IVF pregnancy

Miscarriage of our IVF pregnancy

Mel shares her feelings when her girlfriend’s IVF pregnancy miscarried at 14 weeks.

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My partner’s early miscarriage

My partner’s early miscarriage

Peter shares his feelings of shock, distress and helplessness after the diagnosis of early miscarriage.

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Coping with recurrent miscarriage

Coping with recurrent miscarriage

Nikhil describes coping with his wife’s second miscarriage, and feelings of anxiety, distress and loneliness.

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Recurrent miscarriage and pregnancy

Recurrent miscarriage and pregnancy

Mike talks about his wife’s recurrent miscarriages, medical and natural management, and pregnancy after loss.

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Kirstie’s story

Kirstie’s story

In a video uploaded to Facebook, fifteen-year-old Kirstie tells the story of the late loss of her son Jacob.

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Letti talks about how she coped with miscarrying twins when she was 25

Letti talks about how she coped with miscarrying twins when she was 25

Letti talks about how she coped with miscarrying twins when she was 25

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Lauren experienced two missed miscarriages, two years apart

Lauren experienced two missed miscarriages, two years apart

Lauren was 20 when she experienced her first miscarriage. She talks about her experience of medical management, the anxiety she felt during her second pregnancy and the grief she felt when she miscarried again.

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Sophie had a missed miscarriage and surgical management

Sophie had a missed miscarriage and surgical management

Sophie talks about the grief she felt after experiencing a miscarriage and how her baby daughter and a Parents4Parents group helped her.

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Holly was 18 when she had a missed miscarriage

Holly was 18 when she had a missed miscarriage

Holly’s ex boyfriend blamed her for their miscarriage. Here she talks about what happened and her feelings of guilt and loss.

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Sara was considering an abortion before she miscarried

Sara was considering an abortion before she miscarried

Sara’s pregnancy was unplanned. She had a miscarriage while she was waiting for an abortion. She talks about what happened and how she still feels confused and guilty.

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I supported my friend after she had a miscarriage

I supported my friend after she had a miscarriage

Holly and Billie share their experiences and talk about what you can do to help a friend who has had a miscarriage.

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My wife’s miscarriage

My wife’s miscarriage

Steve describes his wife’s miscarriage, his feelings of helplessness, ‘coping’ and unexpected reminders of loss.

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Poems

Forty-three grams

Too early to name you were too unfinished

in the womb for anyone to love but me.

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It wasn’t meant to be

The seeds were sown and found their pew
Week by week, our cherished seeds grew
So much excitement filled the air
Hearts full of anticipation, to tell those who care.

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Two lines

Waiting, waiting, so anxiously waiting, the two week wait of hell,
Buying the test, racing upstairs even though it might not end well,
Three minutes is all it takes to show but it feels like a life time,
Hoping, praying, trying to relax, convincing yourself it’s all fine.

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Saying Goodbye

Today we say goodbye to our seedling
Who never saw our eyes
Or even their big brother
Who is so cheeky and kind

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Personal Reflection on Miscarriage

Lost makes it sound misplaced like we left it on the bus
On in the shops or up the street but really this is us.

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10½ weeks

Helen wrote a poem after losing her baby, conceived naturally after four failed IVF attempts.

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For my beautiful Evie Davies that I lost on 24th February 2016

I’m sorry I never met you,
I never felt your touch.
You have three gorgeous brothers,
Who would of loved you very much.

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The love within

I never got to feel you move or hear your tiny heart
The love was all within
I never got to see your face or hold your tiny hands
The love was well within

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My poem from my broken heart

People buzzing round me – it’s just another day,
For me it’s a real struggle to keep my grief at bay.
My baby is in heaven – how can I deal with that?
Trying to be ok and keep my feelings under my hat.

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No chance to shine

With my mind’s eye, I’ve
Watched…
You a thousand times

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My little paper treasure box

There was a box I had so small,
it started like a seed…
And in that box I’d place my all
that meant the world to me…

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I know you are up there

I know you are up there
Looking down on us
You are the angels in the sky
That take away my heart

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Painted toe nails

Hina reflects: ‘Allah had a plan for you and this was not it.’

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Handprint

Though I only saw you as an image on a screen
I still love you, with every inch of my being…

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Speck

You are my fish-flapping, lost, slip of life,
My speck, I had only a short time
With your real-unreal, what-might-have-been image…

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All the Questions

How can I miss you?
I never knew you.
How can I feel empty?
You’d barely begun.

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Siblings

Sisters and brothers, dear my dears,
it was not pleasant for you any time.

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My leaf

It was the tiniest leaf that fell from the big oak tree,
so tiny yet so perfectly formed but never meant to be.

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To Mend A Broken Heart

It’s hard to find the words my darling,
The words people expect to hear.
Like how I can’t live any longer,
Knowing you’re not here.

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Little Beacon

Angry red stain
Signals the end.
5 weeks of attachment
Erased in a moment.

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The little blue line

Such excitement, such joy
We could hardly believe our luck when we saw you appear
Disbelief and a tingle of fear
Our little line of joy

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Still so small

A poem by Charlotte whose baby girl was found to have no heartbeat at 19 weeks and was finally delivered at 19 weeks and 3 days.

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Our little angels

Joy is a wonderful thing were pregnant
The moment we found out,
We were over joyed with happiness
This soon turned to grief

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When the bleeding stops

When the bleeding stops
And I’m still feeling pretty lame
I wish you’d stayed around,
So I could have given you a name

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Hope renewed

So two years later
And too much turmoil
Has been unable to spoil
The wonder of you

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Empty baby

What sort of life
Is taken away
Without a word
Without a say

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Ticking clock

The clock has ticked
Its last…

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Delayed reaction

Three months have past
And slipped through time
And left nothing sublime…

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You came into our lives

You came into our lives
Oh, so briefly!
Your heartbeat a shining light.

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Silent loss

Karen Gardner miscarried her son, Stolly, 18 weeks into her pregnancy. These are her reflections on her loss and that time.

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Loss

After our first loss, we moved on.
As you do.
But our second loss,
over the Christmas period;
somehow
had welded itself to all
that we do.

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For Zamira

A month before what would have been her due date, Karen Mercer wrote the following poem for her baby, Zamira, who died at 8 weeks.

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From dark hours will come joy

I’ve wandered aimless as a dandelion scattered to the wind,
Watched helpless as the tides of emotion sweep across your Mother’s brow,
Seen rivers bathe her tired cheeks,
And wished I could have known you as she has…

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Welcome to the circle

Welcome to the circle
Of the ladies in pain
Please all join hands
And tell us your name

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Hard to swallow (Miscarriage #2)

Least suspecting times
Catch me with a thought of you

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Not

Not a blob but a baby
Not foetal tissue
But flesh of my flesh
Bairn of my bone.

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Tears of wonder

Sometimes I cry, at any time, any place, I cry.

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