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Wendy & Barry’s story

Wendy and Barry share their story of experiencing a miscarriage during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, with reduced access to hospital services. They hope to help others who might be going through something similar by telling their story at this particularly difficult time. If you're looking for more information about the impact of coronavirus on your care please have a look at the links at the bottom of this page.

We are trying to deal with our grief and both the physical and mental trauma of this miscarriage. This feels like it will take longer as we are not able to be with our loved ones... but we will find our way I am sure.

Me and my husband have 3 children between us, but none together. We fell pregnant last year which ended in our first miscarriage at 11 weeks. This was highly traumatic and ended in me haemorrhaging.

We found out we were pregnant again at the start of March and from the beginning we put up defensive walls to try and protect ourselves in case we lost this baby too.

At nearly 7 weeks, I found I was slightly bleeding and that feeling of dread flooded me. This started just as the COVID-19 lockdown was announced. I spoke with my GP over the phone and they got me an appointment with the early pregnancy unit for the next day. The hospital policy had just been changed so only the pregnant woman could attend. I felt scared to be going alone and scared to being going to a hospital at all with the risk of COVID-19.

I attended the hospital and had to be questioned before entering the hospital, have my temperature taken and wash my hands. I then entered the unit and was taken into a room by a nurse. We had to sit at a distance of 2 metres, which felt awkward especially at such a stressful time, but the nurse did everything she could to put me at ease.

I then had a scan, due to being so early, it was an internal scan. The scan happily showed a 7 week foetus with a heartbeat. It also showed bruising or a haematoma near to my cervix. The nurse explained that this could lead to some bleeding.

Once I got home, the bleeding really started and I started to lose clots. I was able to ring the unit whenever I needed to, and I did as the bleeding continued.

At nearly 8 weeks, the bleeding got worse and I lost 4 bigger clots. I also found my pregnancy symptoms faded, my breasts no longer hurt.

I spoke to the early pregnancy unit and they asked me to come in. I again had to go in on my own. This felt even more daunting this time. Once at the hospital, I again had to have a scan and they confirmed the baby was no longer there. The sonographer and assistant could only look at me in my grief. To hear this news alone and without any physical comfort was very difficult.

The nurse and doctor did everything they could to comfort me and allowed me to make phone calls to my husband.

The nurse explained that she felt she was only doing half of her job as she couldn’t comfort me.

We are trying to deal with our grief and both the physical and mental trauma of this miscarriage. This feels like it will take longer as we are not able to be with our loved ones, we cannot escape to the tranquility we crave, we cannot go to the church to light a candle, but we will find our way I am sure.

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