To my baby…

Alex shares a poem she wrote about the devastation she felt after finding out she'd had a missed miscarriage.

Waking up excited on the day we took the test,
Waiting for those two lines, our hearts beating in our chest.
We hugged each other tight, tears falling from our eyes.
We already couldn’t love you more, even if we tried.

We counted down the weeks as they passed,
Each day getting more excited than the last.
Excited and nervous as you grew,
Our conversation shrank so it was just about you.

We couldn’t wait to tell the family about our new addition,
The perfect Mother’s Day present was now our mission.
At ten weeks we saw your heart beat,
And just like that we felt complete.

As 12 weeks came we thought we’d made it,
The milestone that everyone wants to hit.
We sat in the waiting room before the scan,
Hoping that everything would go to plan.

As you came on the screen we knew things didn’t look right,
We held each other’s hand really tight.
No heartbeat, you’d stopped growing the week before.
I never knew words could be so sore.

You weren’t meant to be but that doesn’t make it okay.
I really wish you could have been here to stay.
If love could have saved you I know you wouldn’t have had to go.
But we will love you forever, I hope you know.

By Alex