Molar pregnancy can be extremely distressing. There is no right or wrong way to feel but many people say that it is very upsetting, confusing and sometimes frightening.
Your feelings after a molar pregnancy
Some common feelings are:
Shock and confusion
- at being told this wasn’t a miscarriage, but a molar pregnancy – something you’ve probably never heard of
- at the information you are able to find, which may be hard to understand.
I thought nothing could be more devastating than losing a baby, until a month later when they told me it was a partial molar pregnancy.
Fear and anxiety
- about the thought that you might have cancer (you almost certainly haven’t but the possibility can be very frightening)
- about what this means for the future, for you and for any future pregnancies.
I searched it on the internet and saw things about chemotherapy and was just so scared.
Loss and grief
- for the baby you were expecting, the baby who might have been.
Feeling ‘in limbo’ and unable to move on
- during follow-up and repeated blood and urine tests
- if you have to wait some months before trying again.
- At 7 April 2020, the Association of Early Pregnancy Units suggests that people consider waiting until the coronavirus pandemic is over before trying to conceive. This is to minimise the burden on the health service, to ensure you have full access to early pregnancy and maternity care and because it is too soon to fully understand the effect of the virus in pregnancy. Knowing that others are facing this wait too might make you feel less alone, but it might not be much comfort at this time.
When I first realised I would have to wait (before trying again), I cried for about a week. Life seemed so unfair and to have no control over when I could try for a baby was awful.
Feeling alone and isolated
- especially as few people have heard of molar pregnancy and people around you may not understand what you’re going through.
Getting support after a molar pregnancy
Molar pregnancy can be a very difficult experience to go through. It can feel like a series of blows: first a miscarriage, then a diagnosis of molar pregnancy and the anxieties that go along with it, and then the period of follow-up.
It can feel as if you are stuck, that you can’t move on and begin to recover from your loss. And that’s especially true if you have to wait longer than you want before trying again. You may feel very alone, that others simply don’t understand what you’re going through.
Whatever your feelings and anxieties, you don’t have to bear them alone. Each of the molar preganncy follow-up centres – Charing Cross in London, Weston Park in Sheffield and Ninewells in Dundee – has specialist counselling available to their patients. Our online forum, has a dedicated board for molar pregnancy. We have a number of people who have shared their stories here. And www.molarpregnancy.co.uk offers a ‘community’ for sharing stories which can make you feel less alone.
You’ll find more details of all the Miscarriage Association’s support services here.