Everyone is different, but many women say that ectopic pregnancy is a very upsetting and frightening experience, even if they weren’t planning to have a baby.
Your feelings after an ectopic pregnancy
There is no right or wrong way to feel after an ectopic pregnancy and you may find that you have lots of ups and downs in the days, weeks and months after your loss. Some common feelings are:
- about the diagnosis, or even finding out you were pregnant (these may happen at the same time)
- about what happened, especially in an emergency
- about what might have happened.
Everything happened so quickly. I never had time to think about it until after my operation. Once I was discharged from hospital I was left feeling very alone with so many ‘what ifs’ running through my head.
- Loss and grief
Everyone tells me how lucky I am to be alive. But I’ve lost my baby and I just feel so empty.
- Feeling alone
- if those around you don’t seem to understand your feelings
- if you hadn’t told others about your pregnancy and feel you can’t tell them about your loss either
- if you don’t have anyone you can turn to for support – perhaps especially during the coronavirus pandemic.
- Feeling ‘in limbo’
- if you are having repeated blood tests and follow-up
- if you have to wait some months before you can try again
- Anxiety about the future
- about whether you can get pregnant again
- about the chance of having another ectopic pregnancy
- about whether you should try again or whether you want to.
- Acute anxiety or depression
- panic or anxiety attacks, intrusive thoughts and flashbacks
- depression that does not lift
- a worsening of an existing mental health problem.
- It’s important to look after your mental health and to seek support when you need it. Our information on mental health may be helpful.
Getting support after an ectopic pregnancy
The experience of ectopic pregnancy can be extremely distressing. You may feel very relieved to be alive and free from pain, yet still feel deeply sad at the loss of your baby and anxious about the future. Your partner may have similar feelings, or might be more concerned about your health, especially if you were treated as an emergency.
Whatever your feelings and anxieties, you don’t have to bear them alone. You might find it helpful to contact our staffed helpline or to join our online forum, which has a dedicated board for molar pregnancy. You’ll find more details here of where you can find support from others who will understand.