It’s
A poem about miscarriage
It’s everything changing in one single day
A tiny trace of blood, a scan, a blank screen
A drawn-out silence, punctured by a scream
It’s facing the truth when you want to run
Knowing something has ended
Before it has even begun
It’s tears flowing from your eyes
Plans that might never materialise
It was excitement and nerves
Then sadness laced with anxiety
It’s frailty and fragility
It’s loneliness and isolation
Despite the calls, messages, deliveries to the door
It’s lying, crumpled, on the bathroom floor
It’s wrapping yourself up and hiding away from others
It’s a reminder of how much you treasure
Parents, friends, sisters and brothers
It’s that awful feeling burning in your throat, a warning sign
The floodgates open, you cry and cry
It’s a state of flux – a pendulum swinging from happy to sad
Never really knowing what will turn a good day bad
It’s a million thoughts racing around your head
But the same flashback that comes every night before bed
It’s trying to stay in the present, which can be unnerving
Because the future’s uncertain, the past too disturbing
It’s a little cloud above you
That sometimes fills with rain
Numbness then normality
Punctuated by pain
It’s putting on a brave face, trying to heal
But realising that you need to let yourself feel
Fronting it out to protect yourself
But knowing that being open can sometimes help
It’s fearing loss even more than before
But knowing you have so much to be thankful for
It’s loving you
More than I ever thought possible
It’s believing we’ll always be happy
Even if it’s just us two.
By Georgie