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A poem about miscarriage

It’s everything changing in one single day
A tiny trace of blood, a scan, a blank screen
A drawn-out silence, punctured by a scream

It’s facing the truth when you want to run
Knowing something has ended
Before it has even begun

It’s tears flowing from your eyes
Plans that might never materialise

It was excitement and nerves
Then sadness laced with anxiety
It’s frailty and fragility

It’s loneliness and isolation
Despite the calls, messages, deliveries to the door
It’s lying, crumpled, on the bathroom floor

It’s wrapping yourself up and hiding away from others
It’s a reminder of how much you treasure
Parents, friends, sisters and brothers

It’s that awful feeling burning in your throat, a warning sign
The floodgates open, you cry and cry

It’s a state of flux – a pendulum swinging from happy to sad
Never really knowing what will turn a good day bad

It’s a million thoughts racing around your head
But the same flashback that comes every night before bed

It’s trying to stay in the present, which can be unnerving
Because the future’s uncertain, the past too disturbing

It’s a little cloud above you
That sometimes fills with rain
Numbness then normality
Punctuated by pain

It’s putting on a brave face, trying to heal
But realising that you need to let yourself feel
Fronting it out to protect yourself
But knowing that being open can sometimes help

It’s fearing loss even more than before
But knowing you have so much to be thankful for

It’s loving you
More than I ever thought possible
It’s believing we’ll always be happy
Even if it’s just us two.

By Georgie

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