Sophie describes how her miscarriage happened very suddenly and also shares how her and her husband supported each other afterwards.
The relaxation part [of yoga] allowed me to process what had happened to us and it allowed me to start the process of grieving.
Yoga helped me grieve…
My miscarriage happened suddenly with no warning. I woke up at about 2am needing to go to the toilet, as I was sitting there the bleeding and pain started. With this I became dizzy and started to sweat profusely, I felt sick and I was unable to get comfortable.
I was calling my husband but he was fast asleep. I found strength to get off the toilet and wake him up. I opened the bedroom door, called his name and collapsed on the floor. I was sweating so much it was like I had been in the shower. My hands started to go numb and I began shivering. He said I was pale clammy. He called an ambulance and they asked him to check my capillary refill rate, this took 6 seconds and they were sending an ambulance as a blue light, emergency response.
We are both nurses and both aware I was showing signs of going into shock. I was scared. It had been a busy night for emergency services and the ambulance took nearly 2 hours to arrive, by which time my blood pressure had began to stabilise. I had 3 blankets over me and started to warm up, I had been sick and the pain started to ease.
The ambulance arrived and although I had improved my vital signs were still not in normal range. I went to the toilet and passed something I thought was the placenta and from this I started to feel a lot better physically. I was taken to A&E for further checks and later discharged. It was a long night and myself and husband came home that day and slept.
In the first two days I was in shock. I was scared how my body reacted and kept thinking about me lying on the floor, in pain and shivering. I am in good overall health and had never been so unwell before. I rang my GP and midwife, they arranged for me to have blood tests and a scan which confirmed I had a miscarriage.
My miscarriage happened very suddenly, in the space of a few hours, which was why I was so unwell. I took time off work knowing I needed to rest.
I’m not an emotional person and I struggle to talk about how I feel, even though I was sad I was holding back tears and not letting it out. I woke up feeling sad and I didn’t want to do anything but stay in bed.
My husband suggested starting yoga together at home, which I reluctantly agreed to do. After the sessions there was a relaxation part, we both lay down on the living room floor and relaxing music started to play and he went to hold my hand. The relaxation part allowed me to process what had happened to us and it allowed me to start the process of grieving. I cried a lot and we lay there cuddling each other. We did this every day and I would always cry at the same part but I started to heal. It helped me to relax and let out the emotions I was building up.
I wasn’t sure what to expect after a miscarriage. From my experience, my emotions became erratic, I would sometimes laugh and this would then make me cry, I would get angry over silly things. I had headaches and I felt very tired. It all settled with time and I think yoga and the love and support I had from my husband definitely helped.
I spoke to my friends and family about what had happened and I was surprised to learn the amount of people that had experienced a miscarriage too. It was a traumatic event that made us feel closer together.