Over the years we’ve found that people who have experienced a miscarriage or pregnancy loss want different types of support and information from us online.
Some people want to access support anonymously while others are happy to share their experiences more widely. Some people find strength in messages of hope while others might find them distressing. Some people want support and comfort late at night. Others are looking for information about the work of the M.A. as well as updates on new research into pregnancy loss.
We want to meet as many of your needs as we can. We provide a number of places online where you can get support and information, share your experiences (as Emily did), comfort others and hear from the Miscarriage Association. These include:
- Our forum on this website
- Our live chat service on this website
- Our email helpline
- Our Facebook groups
- Our e-newsletter, Facebook page and other social media profiles.
We’ve created this page to help you decide which online space is best for you.
It’s important to note that none of our online spaces are able to provide counselling, treatment recommendations or medical advice (although you may find others discussing these things). If you need medical advice we’d recommend you take a look at our FAQ page and/or speak to your GP, midwife or consultant. We also have more information about accessing counselling services on our Counselling after a miscarriage page.
Our forum on the Miscarriage Association website
Our pregnancy loss forum is a safe space for people to share thoughts, feelings and experiences about miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and molar pregnancy.
Hello I’m so sorry for your losses. I too have had and ectopic and lost my tube. This was my first pregnancy and I was devastated…
The forum is divided into sections which deal with specific topics. This means you have more control over what you see. You can decide which sections you want to visit and which sections you want to avoid.
The forum is separate from Facebook or other social media. You can be completely anonymous. You don’t have to use your real name and only registered users can see what you post.
Our staff check all registration requests before approving them, and they and volunteers visit the forum regularly to check all is well and to offer support and information if needed.
Our live chat service on the Miscarriage Association website
Live Chat is our free, confidential online chat service, usually available from 10am-3pm Monday to Friday. Our live chat service is staffed by our support workers, who can offer emotional support, talk through your questions and signpost you to resources and relevant organisations.
Our email service
If you have questions or things that you would like to talk about more privately, you can email our helpline staff on email@example.com. We aim to respond to emails within two working days.
Our Facebook groups
We have four Facebook groups (see below) – all spaces where people can share their thoughts, feelings and experiences about miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and molar pregnancy, as well comment on the latest news, research and the work of the Miscarriage Association. Our staff and volunteers are on hand as admins so you can contact them with questions or concerns. They’re not there 24 hours a day, though, so you may have to wait for a response, especially at night (UK time).
Unlike our forum, Facebook groups are not anonymous. Other people who are members of the group will be able to see your Facebook profile picture and name (although maybe not your whole profile, depending on your Facebook privacy settings). However, as many people check in to Facebook every day, our Facebook groups are usually busier than the forums and you may find that you get replies and support much quicker.
The newsfeed structure of Facebook means that we can’t divide the group into sections. This means you have less control over what you see than in the forums. We also can’t check every post before it is published and you may see images or read stories that cause you distress. If you notice that these are showing up on your Facebook newsfeed, you can ‘Unfollow’ the group. That should stop the posts appearing in your newsfeed. Facebook does change things from time to time, so let us know if this doesn’t work for you.
If you want to share a picture yourself, please describe it in a post first and then include it in a comment (if you can ‘nest’ the picture by commenting first and then replying to your comment with the picture, even better, this means it is even less likely to show up in people’s feeds unexpectedly) – that way, people can choose whether to view it or not. We’ve learned from experience that images that cause distress to some members can also bring great comfort to others.
We’re all at different stages of an often painful journey, and we would ask that you respect and support each other despite differences of opinion. You’ll find many different discussions going on, and you might prefer to scroll past some of them rather than getting involved. However, if you find you get very upset by reading about particular experiences or seeing particular photos in these groups, you might find that our online forum is a better space for you.
Our open group on Facebook
Our open Facebook group is visible to anyone on Facebook. Your other Facebook friends may see your posts and responses on their newsfeed. They may also see notifications from Facebook that you have joined the group.
We tend to use the open group more for posting news relating to pregnancy loss and updates from the Miscarriage Association, though you are welcome to share your personal story if you feel comfortable doing so in a public space.
You can take a look at the open Facebook group before you decide to join.
Our general private group on Facebook
Our private group on Facebook is very similar to our open group in terms of the support offered and the guidelines for participation (see above). The main difference is that it is what Facebook calls a ‘closed group’. This means that your family and friends on Facebook will not be able to see what you post unless they are also members of the closed group. However, due to the way Facebook works, they may see that you have joined or that you are a member of this group.
Because it is private, this Facebook group tends to be more active than the open one, with people from around the world supporting each other at all hours of the day.
Our private Pregnant After Loss groups on Facebook
Our Pregnant After Loss groups are private groups, where people faced with the hopes and, very often, the anxieties of pregnancy after loss offer each other support and a listening ear. To help people find the most relevant support we offer one group for those who are 0-13 weeks pregnant after a loss or losses and another for those who are 14 weeks and over. We ask new members to agree to our rules when they join (rules for ‘0-13 weeks‘ group and for ‘from 14 weeks‘ group), to ensure it’s a safe space for all.
Family and friends on Facebook will not be able to see what you post unless they are also members of the closed group (unless you choose to post anonymously), but they may see that you have joined or that you are a member of this group.
- Request to join our ‘Pregnant After Loss, 0-13 weeks’ private Facebook group
- Request to join our ‘Pregnant After Loss, from 14 weeks’ private Facebook group
Our e-Newsletter, Facebook page and other social media profiles
We also use our online spaces to keep our supporters in touch with the work of the Miscarriage Association, as well as with news stories and research about pregnancy loss. In these more public spaces, you’ll also see opportunities to get involved in fundraising events and campaigns. You can choose to like our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn or Google+, sign up to receive our Supporters e-Newsletter – or a combination of these.
- Like our Facebook page
- Follow us on Twitter
- Follow us on Instagram
- Follow us on YouTube
- Follow us on LinkedIn
- Sign up for our Supporters e-Newsletter
Looking after your wellbeing online
Sometimes being online can make things feel more difficult.
You might compare yourself and your experience to others – and this could make you feel worse. Or it might be that reading about other people’s experiences reminds you of your own and brings those emotions back.
Sometimes other people’s comments can be upsetting – or just not feel helpful for you right now.
Lots of people find that being online late at night can sometimes make it harder to sleep. This might be because of the blue light given off by your device, or because your mind is more active after spending time online.
If you find yourself feeling worse after going online, think about taking a break or looking for a different online space that might work better for you. You could also delete, unfollow or hide certain people.
Mind has some more information about looking after your mental health online.