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Loss

For Claire.

After our first loss, we moved on.
As you do.
But our second loss,
over the Christmas period;
somehow
had welded itself to all
that we do.
An elephant, if you like.
Greeting us,
in the mornings,
dinner times
evenings.
Perhaps is was because of
Christmas.
We had planned
to share our
news with
our folks.
As you do.
It was Christmas eve
nine weeks, gone.
We were confident.
But it wasn’t to be.
The day before
we had a scan.
We didn’t guess,
at the time.
But a second opinion,
called by the
technician,
was confirmation.
We left that day,
with our new
appointment.
The day after
Boxing day.
The day before
my folks were
due to visit us.
Still not knowing
we attended our
appointment.
And they
told us.
It was over quickly, really.
The same day.
A swift procedure,
to clear out what
didn’t grow.
We were home,
by seven.
And we prepared
for the telling.
As you do.
Letting people
know,
what’s happened.
It started with
my folks.
Confident was I,
prepared.
But it wasn’t
going to be
that way.
Tears
have a spot on
habit
of punctuating
your speech,
your meter,
your pattern,
your breathing.
But parents, too
have a spot on
habit
for understanding,
for knowing
what ain’t
right.
After the one set of folks,
the other soon followed.
Tears too, flowed.
And after the folks,
Other family members,
and friends.
And still the
tears flow.
For what didn’t
grow.

Paul, September 2006

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