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Supporting someone who is pregnant after miscarriage

This section is for you if you are supporting someone who is pregnant after a miscarriage, ectopic or molar pregnancy*.

If you haven’t experienced a loss yourself, it might be difficult for you to fully understand how they are feeling.

Pregnancy after loss takes courage and strength. Many people say that they can no longer trust their body. They live in fear of something going wrong again. The strain of waiting and enduring ongoing uncertainty about something so important and life-changing can be exhausting. Many women and their partners do endure this time, but often in private and without support.

A small amount of early research[1] has found that supportive care and ongoing emotional support may make a difference in preventing unexplained recurrent miscarriage. This included regular scans and clear information plus being taken seriously, listened to and empathised with.

As a friend, partner or family member you can help by taking their emotions seriously, listening and empathising.

Here are some ideas to help you make things a little easier for them. You might also find it helpful to look at our leaflet Supporting someone you know.

Listen to Jacqueline talk to Clare about her experience and how her partner, family and friends were involved. You can read the transcript here.

 

 

 

 

My friend said it would be good for me to get some reassurance at the scan, but for me that wasn’t a given. It could be the opposite of reassurance. It always had been in the past.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was just going through the motions of life, all my focus was inwards and on the pregnancy, my anxiety and the sickness. I didn’t have the energy to keep up with people but it would have helped if they had been in touch to let me know they were thinking of me.

 

 

 

  

 

[1] Liddell HS, Pattison NS, Zanderigo A. Recurrent miscarriage–outcome after supportive care in early pregnancy. Aust N Z J Obstet Gynaecol. 1991 Nov;31(4):320-2. doi: 10.1111/j.1479-828x.1991.tb02811.x. PMID: 1799343.

* Please note that we often use the term ‘pregnancy loss’ to include miscarriage, ectopic and molar pregnancy. But sometimes, using the word ‘miscarriage’ for all three makes it easier for people to find the information they’re looking for online when using a search engine.