If you have experienced repeated pregnancy loss, you may have found it much harder to bear than your first or even second loss.
Thoughts and feelings after recurrent miscarriage
It can be devastating to lose one baby after another. You may wonder if you will ever have a baby – or even whether you should continue trying.
It can be hard to cope with family, friends or colleagues who are pregnant or have new babies. What’s more, you may find that just as you need increased support from those around you, people find it harder to know what to say or how to comfort you.
You might feel like you are caught in a repeating circle: loss, trying again, hoping, worrying and waiting. On our website, we share information about trying again. And in a personal reflection, Flennie shares her thoughts here about waiting.
It’s scary to get a positive pregnancy test result now, because I might have to go through the loss and grief all over again. It’s very different from the happiness and excitement I felt in my first pregnancy.
Recurrent miscarriage and looking for answers
Women and their partners are often desperate to know the cause of their miscarriages. Knowing the reason can help make sense of what has happened. And it may also mean that there is treatment available to prevent it happening again – or at least to reduce the risk.
However, more than half of the couples who have investigations for recurrent miscarriage don’t come out with an answer as to why they miscarried. That can be very hard to cope with.
All the tests came back as normal. I was disappointed as I really wanted an answer: ‘Here’s what’s wrong. Take this magic tablet.’
On the other hand, you may feel relieved that you don’t have any major problems. You can also be reassured that this is actually good news. There is no obvious reason why you can’t have a baby and even after several miscarriages you have a good chance of having a healthy pregnancy in the future without any medical treatment.
The strain on NHS services due to the coronavirus pandemic means that most investigation appointments and processes are on hold for the time being but (as at 18.5.20) they are due to be reintroduced gradually over the next few weeks. We know how distressing this delay will be for many people, especially if you have been advised to wait for tests and results before trying again.
Getting support after experiencing recurrent miscarriage
You might find it helpful to read our leaflet on recurrent miscarriage. You may find comfort from reading others’ stories of recurrent loss, and we’ve shared some of these below. You may choose to share your feelings with others in our online forum, which has a dedicated board for recurrent miscarriage.
You may reach the point where you consider stopping trying. We talk about this here.
We tell you more about how you can find help here. You really don’t have to go through this alone.