Molar pregnancy can be extremely distressing. There is no right or wrong way to feel but many people say that it is very upsetting, confusing and sometimes frightening.
Your feelings after a molar pregnancy
Some common feelings are:
Shock and confusion
- at being told this wasn’t a miscarriage, but a molar pregnancy – something you’ve probably never heard of
- at the information you are able to find, which may be hard to understand.
I thought nothing could be more devastating than losing a baby, until a month later when they told me it was a partial molar pregnancy.
Fear and anxiety
- about the thought that you might have cancer (you almost certainly haven’t but the possibility can be very frightening)
- about what this means for the future, for you and for any future pregnancies.
I searched it on the internet and saw things about chemotherapy and was just so scared.
Loss and grief
- for the baby you were expecting, the baby who might have been.
Feeling ‘in limbo’ and unable to move on
- during follow-up and repeated blood and urine tests
- if you have to wait some months before trying again.
When I first realised I would have to wait (before trying again), I cried for about a week. Life seemed so unfair and to have no control over when I could try for a baby was awful.
Feeling alone and isolated
- especially as few people have heard of molar pregnancy and people around you may not understand what you’re going through.
Getting support after a molar pregnancy
Molar pregnancy can be a very difficult experience to go through. It can feel like a series of blows: first a miscarriage, then a diagnosis of molar pregnancy and the anxieties that go along with it, and then the period of follow-up.
It can feel as if you are stuck, that you can’t move on and begin to recover from your loss. And that’s especially true if you have to wait longer than you want before trying again. You may feel very alone, that others simply don’t understand what you’re going through.
Whatever your feelings and anxieties, you don’t have to bear them alone. The molar pregnancy follow-up centres – Charing Cross in London, Weston Park in Sheffield and Ninewells in Dundee – either have or hope to have specialist counselling available to their patients. We have a monthly Zoom support group for people who are affected by molar pregnancy but who don’t need treatment: just contact email@example.com for the next date and the meeting link.
As a couple, we attended the online molar pregnancy support group. Attending helped us navigate our rollercoaster of emotions after the news of our miscarriage and molar pregnancy. Others also shared their personal journeys and feelings. It was a relief to know that how we felt was valid and normal.
In addition, our online forum, has a dedicated board for molar pregnancy. We have a number of people who have shared their stories here. And www.molarpregnancy.co.uk offers a ‘community’ for sharing stories which can make you feel less alone.
You’ll find more details of all the Miscarriage Association’s support services here.