Support on Facebook
A conversation thread from our private Facebook group, reproduced with permission, but with names changed.
For more information about our public and private Facebook groups and links to join, see our online support page.
Amy: I found out Thursday I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and had a D&C Friday. I have done pretty well keeping myself together these past few days because I knew there were some issues and chances were pretty high that I miscarried. Today I am really struggling, cried all morning, feeling really angry and just broken hearted. At the same time I feel guilty or like I don’t have the right to be so upset because there are women that are a lot further that I was and miscarry or have stillborns etc..
I’m just wondering if anyone else has felt or feels like this too. I find it hard to talk to people who haven’t miscarried before – I just feel like they really don’t understand…I know I didn’t until it happened to me.
Beth: So sorry for your loss. I found out on the 18th I was miscarrying. This is my first miscarriage, none of my friends have been through this so they don’t understand either. The ladies on here are great and very supportive.
Claire: Amy, everything you’re feeling is totally natural. I think you will find every lady on here has tried to reason in the same way as you have just said, I know it certainly struck a chord with me. It’s just our brains trying to find a coping route to make sense of it all. Your baby was just as important as all those scenarios. Sending you a massive hug xxx
Diane: Amy, just go with it sweetie. I had a miscarriage in October. I was “strong” up until January when I just fell apart. I think anger, sadness, grief, jealousy, resentment, fear need to find their way out somehow…
Thinking about you. I completely identify with everything you say. I even said this morning… “I should be stronger than this, I have ‘only’ had one loss”…. We feel what we feel, it is all ok xxxx
Ellie: BIG hugs, Amy! I find that most people who haven’t had similar experience don’t really understand even if they try hard, they think just because time has passed you should be fine or even because you have been thru it more than once, you should be sort of used to it, which clearly is total rubbish! Luckily we have all these lovely people on here to help us thru our experiences!
Fiona: Hugs dearie, how you are feeling is normal. Regardless of how far on you were, you are still grieving a loss, one that others who haven’t been through it can’t understand. Keep talking here – the ladies are amazing xx
Grace: I haven’t cried for either of mine yet…first loss was 2011… It’s hard to make sense of it, I found it very hard to talk initially when I first came on here, but now I am having counselling it is starting to break my walls down and I am beginning to realise I’ve made myself ill. Keep talking flower, it does get easier and as Fiona says, the support on here is amazing xx
Amy: Thank you all for your responses, it has really helped me today and gives me a little bit of peace knowing my feelings are normal and there are others out there that understand exactly what I am going through.