Recurrent pregnancy loss

Feelings after repeated loss

If you have experienced repeated pregnancy loss, you may have found it much harder to bear than your first or even second loss. It can be devastating to lose one baby after another and this can be made worse by feelings of guilt (“It must be something I did”) or sheer hopelessness (“I’m never going to be able to have a baby”).

It can be hard to cope with family, friends or colleagues who are pregnant or have new babies. What’s more, you may find that just as you need increased support from those around you, people find it harder to know what to say or how to comfort you.

You might feel like you are caught in a repeating circle: loss, trying again, hoping, worrying and waiting. We have a section on the site where we talk about trying again. And elsewhere, Flennie shares her thoughts about waiting.

Testing after recurrent miscarriage

Women and their partners are often desperate to know the cause of their miscarriages. Knowing the reason can help make sense of what has happened. And it may also mean that there is treatment available to prevent it happening again – or at least to reduce the risk.

However, more than half of the couples who have investigations for recurrent miscarriage don’t come out with an answer as to why they miscarried. That can be very hard to cope with.

“All the tests came back as normal. I was disappointed as I really wanted an answer: ‘Here’s what’s wrong. Take this magic tablet.’”

On the other hand, you may feel relieved that you don’t have any major problems. You can also be reassured that this is actually good news. There is no obvious reason why you can’t have a baby and even after several miscarriages you have a good chance of having a healthy pregnancy in the future without any medical treatment.

Next steps

You might find it helpful to read our leaflet Recurrent miscarriage.

You might also find our support services useful, or find comfort from reading others’ stories of recurrent loss. Our support forum also has a section on recurrent miscarriage.