Considering another pregnancy
Deciding when – or even whether – to try to conceive again after your loss can be difficult and you may have very mixed feelings about another pregnancy.
It may be that you don’t want to think about trying for another pregnancy, at least not now. You may not feel ready, emotionally or physically. You might feel guilty for even thinking about another pregnancy, for thinking about moving on. You may just need time.
But you may want to try again as soon as possible and feel that being pregnant will help you recover from this loss.
You feel so empty after the loss and want to fill that void…
At the same time, you might also be frightened that you could be faced with having another loss. You may wonder how you could cope with being pregnant again.
In bed we faced the same unspoken questions. Do we want to make love? What’s the chance of a baby? What about the pain if we lose it?
You may want to talk to your GP, midwife or consultant about making a plan for another pregnancy, such as extra check-ups or scans. This might be part of the discussion you have after the results of a post-mortem or any other tests. It can be helpful to discuss things fully and to have an idea of the extra support that might be available in a new pregnancy.
We talk more about trying – or not trying – again here. And we have additional resources too for people who are pregnant after a loss.
Finding help and support
It can make a real difference to be able to talk to people who understand. You may be offered support or counselling through the hospital or your GP or you might try one or more of the following sources of help:
The Miscarriage Association:
- a staffed helpline and live chat
- support volunteers and support groups
- an online forum, with a ‘late loss’ board
- personal stories of second trimester loss
- a range of leaflets
- information about counselling
Petals: a registered charity offering specialist counselling after pregnancy and baby loss
The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy: information about counselling and a list of accredited counsellors.
You don’t have to go through this alone.