Realistic self-care after pregnancy loss: advice from our community

With Self-Care Day approaching (24 July) we want to take a moment to share some validation and support for anyone navigating pregnancy loss, whether this happened recently, or some time ago.

If you’re a partner, friend, or family member, this message is for you too. You may not have experienced the physical loss, but pregnancy loss affects everyone differently. Your emotions are justified, and any need for support is just as valid. You are not alone, and our community and support is available to anyone who needs it.

After pregnancy loss, self-care can mean many different things, and will look different for everyone. However you’re feeling, and however you choose to take care of yourself – both physically and emotionally – is enough.

There’s no roadmap for recovery after pregnancy loss. You might feel shock, sadness, guilt, anger, or numbness, or all of them at once. These emotions may come and go in waves and show up in different ways. It’s important to remember that this is completely normal. Giving yourself space, time and kindness is a good place to start.

As psychotherapist Julia Bueno writes:

“Every feeling has a place, and only you know the meaning of the pregnancy you had. If others expect you to bounce back quickly or seem to minimise your loss, you may be tempted to think you should do the same, but remember that all your responses are ’normal’ and also need your own kindly attention. Being kind to yourself is crucial.”

Comfort in community

We asked members of our community to share what helped them after their loss, here’s what they shared:

• • “Accept that you need to move at a slower pace. Take the time off work if you can.”
  • “I went for tea and cake out with my family, allowed myself to cry, accepted help from others, and slept.”
  • “I took time away from social media.”
  • “Ensured I made time for me. I looked after my body: warm baths, self-care, movies and treats. But also remembered it’s okay to grieve in your own time – and not everyone’s opinion is valid.”
  • “Validate how you feel – it’s okay to feel these things.”
  • “Embroidery and cross stitch – being able to create with my hands was incredibly powerful.”
  • “I rested and let myself feel all the emotions.”
  • “Focused on fuelling my body with nutritious food to help with my recovery.”
  • “Something I’m doing to nurture the part of myself that really needed to take care of something is simply having plants to look after… it’s given that part of me a purpose.”
  • “I spent time with those closest to me.”
  • “I bought myself a birthstone necklace so that my baby is forever close to my chest.”
  • “I stopped and put myself first.”

Remember that there’s no ‘right’ way to take care of yourself after pregnancy loss, no perfect morning routine or must-have products to achieve self-care. What truly matters, is that you’re giving yourself the same care and compassion that you’d offer someone else in your position.

Self-care doesn’t have to be big or visible. Whether you’re walking, journaling, connecting, or just resting, it all counts. What matters most is doing what feels right for you.

We’re here for you

If you need some support, our team and our community are here for you. We encourage you to contact our helpline for immediate support or check out one of our upcoming support groups.

• • • Call us on 0303 003 6464
    • Live chat with one of our support workers
    • Join a support group – online or in-person, these groups offer a safe space to connect, listen, and be heard.