Partners Too – Tell us your story

The Miscarriage Association, working with University College London (Public Engagement Unit), would like to hear from partners of women who’ve experienced miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy (referred to from here as ‘miscarriage’ to cover all three kinds of pregnancy loss).

We believe it is time to have a better understanding of how partners feel about miscarriage.

We’d like to hear from partners of any gender, sexuality, ethnicity or age. You might be married, living together or be separated or divorced. You may have been trying for a baby for a short or long period of time, or the pregnancy might have unintended or unexpected. You may have experienced one or more miscarriages.

We would also like to hear from women about the impact their miscarriage had on their partners.

We hope you can help tell us your story.  Please read the following instructions carefully before replying to us.

What we’d like you to tell us

We hope you will tell us about how you were affected by your experience(s) of miscarriage. We are interested in your reactions, thoughts and feelings at the time, whatever they were. You may have experienced one or more pregnancy losses. It is up to you whether you want to focus on different experiences of miscarriage or one particular incident/aspect. It’s also up to you to decide how much you want to share.

We will treat your stories in confidence. This means not using any of your story, comments, or quotes without your permission and after removing any identifying details (unless you specifically want us to include them).

You can tell us your story by

• emailing your story to partners@miscarriageassociation.org.uk

• being interviewed over the telephone (if you’re in the UK). Please email partners@miscarriageassociation.org.uk so we can arrange a time that suits you to talk to us.

Thank you.

 

If you’d like more information about the project, please read on…

What will happen after you’ve shared your story?

Once you’ve sent us your story we will use it and those from other people to improve the information and support we give partners and women who have experienced miscarriage, and to educate and inform healthcare professionals. We will also use stories for a wider public awareness campaign to support partners during and after miscarriage. Please let us know if you are happy for us to use your anonymised story in future research and/or on the Miscarriage Association’s website or publications.

About you

You may feel your age, gender, sexuality or ethnicity (or other personal factor) was important in terms of how you coped with the miscarriage or were treated by others (including friends, family, colleagues or healthcare providers).  To make sure we have heard from as many people as possible, we’d like you to tell us as much about yourself as you feel able to share alongside (or as part of) your story.  We will treat this information confidentially and it will not be used to identify you in any way.

Please could you tell us:

  • Your age
  • The county/state and country where you live
  • How you would describe your gender e.g. if you’d define yourself as a man, woman, or other (please explain)
  • How you would describe your sexuality e.g. straight, bi, lesbian, gay, other (please explain)
  • What kind of relationship you are currently in, e.g. long term relationship, married, civil partnership, separated/divorced, widowed, single, dating, other (please explain)
  • How you would describe your ethnic group.

If you’d like to help us further

We would like to do follow up interviews with some people about their experiences. These would be filmed interviews (where you would be seen but would not have to give any other identifying information) or audio interviews (where only your voice would be heard). If you would be interested in doing this please provide us with a contact email when you send us your story. Alternatively we may use an actor to read people’s stories. If you would be happy for us to do this please let us know when you send us your story.

How other people have been affected

To give you an idea of the range of ways that partners react to miscarriage, we’ve listed a few here:
grief or sadness; anxiety or fear; relief; numbness or shock; anger, frustration or impatience; guilt or blame; or no particular feelings either way.

You might want to tell us about:

  • Your feelings about the pregnancy where you experienced loss (and any future pregnancies – if relevant)
  • The loss itself
  • Your feelings during the loss and afterwards (this may be immediately afterwards, or months or years later)
  • Your contact with any health professionals
  • Talking to others about your loss(es)
  • If the miscarriage affected your relationship
  • Whether anyone offered you support during or after the miscarriage
  • Any support that you would LIKE to have been given
  • Anything that made the experience more difficult or easier to cope with
  • Any advice that you would give to others in your situation

If you need help now

If you need support before, during or after sharing your story please contact the Miscarriage Association at info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk or call their helpline on 01924 200799. You can also find support and information on our forum and you might want to read Peter or Richard’s stories.

You may like to share your thoughts with us on Twitter @MiscarriageA or by joining our Facebook Group.

If you feel you need further help your GP, practice nurse, Early Pregnancy Unit or local hospital may be able to refer you to support groups, bereavement services, or counselling.

You might also find the following organisations useful:

Support and information:

SANDS (the stillbirth & neonatal death charity)
MIND (the mental health charity)

Samaritans

Bereavement services:

CRUSE Bereavement Care

Counselling:

Relate (relationship counselling)
BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy)
COSRT (College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists)

Thank you for reading! If you have any further questions about this work please email us at partners@miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Closing date for sharing stories 30/11/13