My story – message is: DO NOT GIVE UP!

After I lost my baby during the 21st week I felt that my whole world had collapsed. The pain was unbearable and the worst was that the doctors did not know the reason.  They suspected that it was a weak cervix but it was only a suspicion – there were things to confirm it and there were things to disclaim it. When I started to be able to think a little clearer my husband and I decided not to wait but to try again – and in the next month I was pregnant.

I was happy but still horrified, not knowing how it will go this time. I had no complications during the first trimester at all.  It was summer; we had holidays and could rest a lot and do nice things together. On the tenth week I had an ultrasound examination and they measured my cervix, but there was no sign of it being weak. After the 12th week I started to go for regular checks, every second week. The examination showed on the 14th week that my cervix became shorter by 5mm than it was two weeks before. Then I started to go every week but there was no change – until the 18th week. Then a diagnostic ultrasound was carried out on the embryo and my cervix was measured – and it showed that my cervix was open to 15 mm softened and shortened.

I had no symptoms at all and it was just 8 days after the previous examination, which showed no difference to how my cervix was on the 14th week. OK, then it was a little shorter than on the 12th week but the doctor said that these few millimetres are so tiny that it can be because they measured wrong. But not this time! I was now diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and was sent to the hospital for cerclage.

I had a book about it and I was very scared – I did not want to lose another baby – I would not survive that. I read that there are people – even doctors! – who do not believe that cerclage is effective, but I had no chance without it.

I was put to sleep and when I woke up I had only a little pain in my belly, nothing to mention, really. I had some nausea but it was because of the anaesthetic and I was getting some womb relaxing medicine in my infusion to avoid contractions because of the operation. I had terrible heart beating and hard breathing because of this medicine but it was fine with me – I only wished that the cerclage would work for me…

Then I got up from the bed after a few hours and then I felt blood running all over my legs! I was prepared that I can bleed a little but that bleeding was not a little – dark red fresh blood with clumps… Even the nurse said it was not ok… I was scared, I cried, I lost my hope and everything – but then, just a few more hours of rest, my bleeding stopped!

I was sent home just 3 days after the operation and I was going to cervix controls every single week! One doctor said that I could live normally. Another doctor said that I can sit and lie but standing and walking are not good ideas. The third doctor said that I must lie, only lie with my legs up. All of them said something different and I did not know which one to listen to! The same was about sexual life: it is totally ok / penetration can stimulate the cervix ergo sex is forbidden / even orgasm reached any other way and not just by penetration is forbidden. One doctor forbade me even to get sexual excited! WHO SHOULD I LISTEN TO???

I decided to lie with my legs up – as the safest way I thought.  It was a very, very long time but my belly started to grow, my baby started to kick and got more and more active. It gave me strength to continue. From the 28th week I started to get up a little just a very little but still: I went out on the balcony to breathe fresh air for a few minutes at least. But we did not have sex, not until after our son was born.

Because he was born just as he should, vaginally, without problems or complications, healthy and beautiful!

Sure, he arrived a few weeks earlier then expected but not so early that he needed to lie in incubator or anything, oh no! The cerclage managed it! It was a Shirodkar type and I wanted to see it when they removed it. It was only a narrow white plastic band – but this narrow white plastic band saved my son’s life! IT WORKED!!! Even if I was operated too late when my cervix was open, soft and short. Without it my son could not be here today.

Today our son, Gabriel, is 9 months old. He is a real beauty. We think to try again at the end of next year. We trust in cerclage now. And next time I even will be operated BEFORE my cervix gets affected by its weakness so the chances are even better.

Yes, I know I will have to rest a lot again – but when I look at my son I feel it is worth it!

Iren Albinsson