I remember from a very early age all I wanted to be was a mother. I married my husband in the October and we found out I was pregnant in the January. We were over the moon it was everything we had ever wanted.

Immediately the morning sickness started and I became very ill with it, I could barely get out of bed and the pain I was in was awful. I think I knew deep down there was something wrong so I went for a scan privately and the doctor was pleased, there was a heart beat and my baby was in the right place. I started feeling a lot more positive we even nicknamed him Twinkle and then at 9 weeks I felt much better, the pain eased off as did the sickness. I started to get more excited I even bought our baby a play gym ready.

The day of the 12 week scan came it was St David's Day, we sat in the hospital waiting room excited about seeing our baby again. We went into the room and as the cold jelly was applied I waited anxiously to see my baby. I looked at the screen and the sonographer's face and I knew instantly that there was something wrong my baby was just lying there lifeless and so small. The sonographer called for a second opinion but unfortunately she also confirmed the worst news I have ever received - our baby had died at 9 weeks.

We were left in the room while they went to get a midwife to talk to us about what had happened, they didn't even turn the screen off; we were left in the room with our baby on the screen. I felt sick, I had to leave, they asked me if I wanted to go to the ward immediately to have the D&C but I refused, I wasn't ready.

I went in the next day and it was awful; they just left us for 2hrs before coming to see us and explain what would happen next. I eventually went to surgery and I was scared. I woke up after surgery and I just burst out crying and shouted at the nurse that they took my baby away from me, I felt empty.

I felt numb after and I was adamant I would never try again but we talked it through and decided to try again straight away because if we had waited we would never have tried again. We were lucky enough that I become pregnant straight away. It was hard all through my pregnancy, I was scared all the time that something would happen and we would lose again. Thankfully all went well and on the 14th of January 2008 we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl called Summer Louise.

I will never forget Twinkle, we bought a star for him so he will shine forever. He would have been one on 20th September 2008. I love you Twinkle and I will never forget you, you are always in our hearts and our thoughts.

To all who feel so low they don't think they will ever move on. There is always hope keep believing.

Faye Bailey