Read by Professor Lesley Regan, St Mary’s Hospital, Paddington, London
I don’t know whether you know this, but about 1 in every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. It usually happens in the first few weeks, though it can happen up to five or six months into a pregnancy. It might have happened to you -- or to someone close to you. It’s almost certainly happened to someone you know well – and it’s also quite likely that they never told you.
Because even today, miscarriage is a bit of a taboo. We don’t talk about it. And if we do, we dismiss it as “one of those things” or “nature’s way” or “just a bunch of cells”. But I see thousands of couples a year in my miscarriage clinic, and I can assure you - that’s not how it feels to them.
For many women - and men too – miscarriage means the loss of their baby and the loss of what might have been. It’s a bereavement. But if family and friends don’t see it that way too, it can be a particularly unhappy and lonely experience.
Fortunately, there is help available. The Miscarriage Association’s helpline staff and volunteers can and do reduce distress by providing a listening ear, compassion and information. Staff can put people in touch with a local support volunteer or support group - so they can talk to others who’ve had a similar experience. They can often answer some of the most important questions – like “Was it my fault?” or “When can I try again?” and they have a whole range of excellent leaflets about pregnancy loss, including one for men. What’s more, they work with people like me –doctors, nurses and midwives – to help us remember the emotional needs of our patients as well as their medical needs.
The Miscarriage Association does a wonderful and very important job, quietly and without fanfare.
But this letter from one caller vouches for just how valuable it is: I was very scared, bewildered and lonely. The information and telephone support I received helped me through the early days after my miscarriage and gave me strength and courage to try for another baby.
Please support The Miscarriage Association today. You can make a donation by phoning 0800 044 044, that’s 0800 044 044 or by sending a cheque to The Miscarriage Association at the following address: Freepost, BBC Radio 4 Appeal, that’s Freepost, BBC Radio 4 Appeal – mark the back of your envelope Miscarriage Association.
Thank you so much.