Mothers’ Day can be a tough time for those of you thinking about babies who died before they were born – especially if others don’t understand your feelings of loss at this time.
One place where people really do understand is in our private Facebook group. And while the discussion thread below isn’t about Mothers’ Day specifically, it does show the kindness, comfort and support that its members bring to each other.
My thanks to the group members who have allowed us to post this discussion. We have, as promised, kept their posts anonymous to protect confidentiality.
A: This is a very heartfelt thank you post to each and every one of you lovely ladies.
I’ve never posted in this group, I sometimes feel I shouldn’t. My miscarriage was years ago and not recent and I know most of you ladies are going through hard times more recently.
I suffered my loss in silence and it had a huge impact. It affected the intimacy with my husband and I and so we have failed to get pregnant. Not so long ago my mum told me I should get some help and I chose this page over talking to someone.
I see all your post and my heart breaks for you, and then I read all the support you give each other and read your kind words. Without even knowing it you ladies have helped me. I’ve seen that what happened to me has happened to other(I wish it hadn’t) I’ve been touched by all your love and support to each other and have started after 6 long years to feel I can move forward. I’d really like to advise any lady not to suffer in silence as the impact can be devastating. But for all you wonderful ladies out there supporting each other, you are all amazing. You’ve all hurt and you still are making time for others, you help others without even knowing and for this I thank you so much
B: You’ve just brought tears to my eyes, what a lovely post. So sorry for your loss, no matter how long ago it was the hole remains. I have seen posts on here from people who didn’t deal with it from decades ago, so good for you to deal with it now. Let us know if there’s anything specific you want to work through with us.
A: That’s very kind, B, thank you x
C: I feel the same way about this group. It’s like my family! Whenever I feel sad or am out and have one of those moments that only women who have had MCs can understand, I think of this group and I feel united together even though I’ve never met anyone! It’s lovely and I’m hoping to do some sort of fundraiser for the miscarriage association at some point to express my gratitude for this group! Xxx
D: Yes since my loss in December I have found this group a great support, we all understand and support each other, it’s such a relief that I have found the group, family and friends have been great and are very well meaning but all of the ladies on here just have such understanding you feel that you are not alone x
E: Bless you A. My miscarriage happened 5 years ago and only a handful of people know. Even some family don’t. I didn’t want my heartache to be someone else’s gossip so I would cry alone into my pillow. I’ve got braver with it over the years, with hints of what has happened.
This group is amazing, I agree. I found even if someone recognises a post, it’s a solidarity comfort. It’s a sad fact that we all share a common heartache, although I think sometimes a gentle comment eases the loneliness. Time continues and love always remains xxx
F: You have brought a tear to my eye too, what a lovely and honest post. I am so glad this group has helped you start to move on, I know it helped me massively too. I was able to ask questions that I simply couldn’t ask anyone else. Xx
You can ask to join the Facebook group here.